Ultimate insomnia

The cause is definitely jetlag. It's 750am now. I woke up at 4am.

You might not understand what I''m going to write. I have been suffering from sleeping disorder since five years ago. And I came up with many ways to overcome it. They all failed this time.

Like... back in those days, I had two 'minds' when I slept. One mind will act in the dream, one is my conscious mind. So I would know when I was going to fall asleep because my conscious mind could see my dream coming in, with my another mind acting in it. My conscious mind wont do anything besides seeing the dream. Then I would lose my conscious mind and that's when I slept.

This time for fuck sake, my conscious mind kept on pulling me out from my dream. I have tried my best to create a dream and as soon as it was created, my conscious mind would creep in and pulled me out. Like I was struggling brabis trying to cling to my dream tapi I failed.

Well I know many of you couldn't really understand it but yea sasak ku brabis. One week sudah yo. The effect of insomnia is seriously worse than what many of you will have thought. Kan mati ku ehhh...

Or should I just give up in adjusting jetlag. I will just sleep when I'm tired and wake up when my body does, rather than forcing myself not sleep when I'm tired and sleep when I can sleep no more at 4am.

How I look now, but of course much uglier.